my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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