i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
