I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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