Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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