Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
