She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
