Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
