i would punch a child for taco bell
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
