i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
