She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize