My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
operation have a gay friend backfired
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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