im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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