I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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