bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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