I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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