Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He better not be in your backpack
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
