this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
