Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
