And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
