She announced her abortion via fbk
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
