Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You're like the curious george of whores
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
