Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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