i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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