that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
