How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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