I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
