ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize