My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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