This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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