new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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