it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
