The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
