so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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