Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
