Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
