just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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