In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
that's an acceptable place to lick
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You can't just leave with hair like that
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
