if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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