what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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