Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
