some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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