I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize