what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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