it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm passing your future prison.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
