so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Never underestimate the power of titties
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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