I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
