How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
