He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
