I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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