3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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