It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
