I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
