are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
