I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
