so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize