Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
