i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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