we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
