Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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