If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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