thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
