you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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